Trying to find meaning

So I’ve recently taken part in this Christian deal called the Alpha course. I say deal because I’m not really sure what it is. Let me struggle with the words and you can watch how I think. It’s not a course because it’s not really a class of any sort. It’s sort of a weekly meeting where a group of people (predominantly Christian) get together and they watch footage of talks or see live talks that deal with various aspects of Christianity. It’s 15 parts(yes, that means 15 weeks, how ever will I survive) and of course every part is about Jesus and Christianity in some way). The reason i struggle to find a term for it is because it has numerous aspects. There’s a meal, a video and a discussion. As the painfully pleasant (believe me, you’d check your wallet, this guy’s so fucking sweet) host puts it, it’s a chance for people to talk and eat. I think of it as sort of a missionary effort/reaffirmation of faith/relating Christianity to the modern world. The last part is a bit tricky considering Christianity is about as modern as bikes with a giant front wheel – which are admittedly pretty awesome

It may not be modern, but it definitely should be

So today’s (given the time of my posting it’s actually last night) topic was about the death of Jesus(Why Christianity? was the first week, I’m fairly sure). Pretty grim shit, but apparently the big message is that we’re supposed to love God because he sent his only kid to die on a crucifix. As my future wife Julia Sweeney (okay, should probably retract the fanboy adulation) puts it, Jesus didn’t die for our sins, Jesus had a bad weekend for our sins. Strictly speaking, the fella pissed off the ruling order of Jews and Romans in a time where the Jews believed that sacrifice was a suitable atonement, God turned two cities into flaming shitholes over some butt-banging, and of course that pretty much every sin warranted a large volley of rocks launched at someone’s head. Let’s just say people got stoned a little too often.

Oh, ha ha

Well in any event, what did Jesus think was going to happen when he preached love and peace to these people? Oh and strictly speaking he didn’t really have that much of a message of love and peace, he just sort of figured he’d be better off in charge. I mean, as someone who lives in a region where dictators are bigger than tentacle rape in Japan, I’m fairly certain that whoever’s running the show generally doesn’t like to see another ringleader. What did Jesus think was going to happen?

Oh and as for ‘my sins’, pretty rich paying off a debt that I never fucking owed, Christy boy. What in the fuck was I guilty of? Am I always supposed to go around, crying over some shit I’ve never done. For fuck’s sake, I saw the guy who authored the torture memos on Jon Stewart the other day. He didn’t give a flying fuck what he had done and he had done quite a bit. Seems awful fucking stupid of me to get up in arms over some great big atrocity I seem to have committed without my knowledge when  the great massacre artists of the world wear suits and meet to ask each other politely if it’s possible to tone down the slaughter(looking at you now, UN)

Ever notice it looks like they have the world in cross-hairs?

So effectively, the whole Christ thing is a pile of shit. Moreover, why in the fuck is it (his death on the Cross) indicative of a greater love. I haven’t fucking seen dime one off that asshole yet. I have not gotten a single shred off God or his other two personalities, so I really have to ask myself why he felt dying on a wooden plank was such a great gift.

Look, I love these Christian folks because they are sweeter than honey fucking pie. For fuck’s sake, I’d trade a cuntload of my atheist friends for one Christian to brighten up my day. They are jolly fucking people. But the sad part is, they’ve nothing to be jolly about. They really discuss these topics a lot, but it seems like there’s too much open-ended literary masturbation. I’m actually happy that they are Christians though. They’re easier to be around than the Muslim apologists. Those guys have even more fucking rules!

Hopefully though, I’ll meet some interesting people and relieve a bit of stress. They are such sweet people. And i don’t mean it in a condescending way. They’re not bible-thumpers or anything, they argue articulately and they listen passionately. It’s just that on the whole religion deal, I’m not budging.